I'll go there someday, I promise!

I've been weighing my decisions to either go to the singles ward or stay in a family ward for a year now.

I still haven't moved.

I've stayed in the family ward. And I've done as every one warned me I would do ...

I've become lost in it

I am seriously invisible. Not just a face in the crowd. The only time I don't blend into the wall is when 1. My hair is wet (huge sin in Utah to go anywhere that way) 2. I fall 3. My dress is tucked in my underwear. And even then all I get is weird looks.

You're probably thinking so why not go to a single's ward? Well first the answer was most people that go to the single's ward are there to find their eternal companion and I'm definitely not looking for one at the moment. Then it just became a weird fear. I didn't want to go alone. Now I just can't seem to tell my primary class good bye. Despite the fact that some weeks I come home and yell to myself "I'M NEVER HAVING CHILDREN!" and cry, I still love them to pieces. Last week my grandpa substituted for me. My grandpa is the best teacher ever and I was just sure that today they were going to tell me they'd so much rather have him but instead they said they'd so much rather have me! I was so flattered! One of the little girl's parents just got a divorce, and her grandmother just died and she's such a sensitive little girl it's been really hard on her and I feel so bad being like "well here's another thing about to change, new primary teacher!" I wish I could be Hannah Montana in this situation and get the best of both worlds but so far it hasn't worked. Anyway,

Today in my primary class was all girls. We had a rough time in sharing time but once we got into class everything was running smoothly. We were making treasure boxes to put stories of Jesus in when one of the girls said "Teacher? Are you having a boy or girl?" I kind of just stared at her for a minute trying to figure out what she was talking about. Finally I understood, just what you want to hear after losing a lot of weight. I said "Alyssa, I'm not having a baby silly!" "Ohh..." She said really disappointed then she piped up "well what's your husband's name?" I said "I don't have a husband, I'm not married" her eyes got huge and she said shocked "well you need to find somebody... SOON!" I felt like throwing my hands up in the air and saying "okay! I get it! I'll start merging my way into the single adult life!"

So, my somebody, I'm coming just be patient...